#BlogElul 1: Prepare

#BlogElul 2013When the Navy moved us to Pensacola this past spring, we did not delay in lining up our families to visit us in sunny Florida. Sampson’s parents mentioned that they might like to join us for Rosh Hashanah, to which we said, “Great! We can’t wait to see you,” and promptly went back to taking care of little details like finding a house, unpacking our worldly possessions from a bewildering array of cardboard boxes and crumpled newsprint, and getting Sampson in the cockpit of a completely new airplane so he could start introducing impossibly young, bright-eyed, fresh-out-of-college Student Naval Flight Officers to the world of military aviation.

The High Holy Days seemed a long way off, and continued to seem so as spring turned into summer and we got to know the folks at our new synagogue — including a handful of other military Jews! Most of them were just starting flight school. Talking with them brought us right back to our own days as a newlywed military couple trying to balance Jewish life with the demands of the Navy. We remembered one of Sampson’s (very) few Jewish superior officers in Kingsville and his family, who welcomed us into their home when we were far from our own. We had always said that one day, we would do the same for other young Jewish servicemembers.

Never mind that in our six and a half years of marriage, not once had we hosted a major holiday dinner. Whether we took leave to visit relatives in Northern Virginia, accepted the gracious invitation of the Jewish Marine major in South Texas, or lit yom tov candles for a just-the-two-of-us meal before dashing to shul in Norfolk, we never found ourselves in the position of providing the warmth, hospitality, and especially the mouthwatering food that evokes holiday feeling almost by magic when its aroma fills the air and the first forkful hits the taste buds.

Inexperience was no object in my eagerness to shed the role of the perma-guest and finally don my best hostess-ing smile. Our opportunity to pay forward the hospitality of that Marine major and his family had arrived: after Shabbat services one evening, I blithely issued invitations to the Jewish servicemembers who didn’t have a place for the holiday dinner, and our Erev Rosh Hashanah guest list grew to include friends as well as in-laws.

Then I went home and looked at our table.

Little Table

Everyone will be cool with sharing seats, right?

I’m all for feelings of holiday closeness, but not when they arise from inadvertent elbow-jabs courtesy of the neighbor with whom you’re perched on half a seat whilst attempting not to spill your soup. How cozy!

Our tiny table had been marvelous for the past six years and several PCSes, largely because it’s hard to get overly upset when the movers gouge, ding, and otherwise beat up something that came cheap, flat-packed, and bearing a quasi-Swedish name. Unless we wanted our Rosh Hashanah guests to eat their brisket standing up, however, it was clear that the time had come for a real, grown-up dining table. We found one we liked at a real, grown-up furniture store, and plunked down real, grown-up money to have it delivered just in time for the beginning of Elul — today, in fact.

New Table

When we insert the leaf, the new table will provide 255% the surface area of the old and seat at least eight.

At first glance, furniture might seem to have little to do with the coming days of reflection, prayer, and t’shuvah. When I look at our new table, though, I see a commitment to the mitzvah of hospitality. I see us welcoming family and friends to eat and be satisfied, and to taste together the sweetness of the New Year in crisp apples and golden honey. I see where we will bless the Creator of the fruit of the vine and the One who brings forth bread from the earth. I see the center of a Jewish home, of a Jewish life — the life toward which we strive through the less visible work of our hearts during this season.

Even with a full cycle of the moon’s waxing and waning — four whole weeks — I may not achieve that elusive feeling of complete preparedness for the intensity of the autumn holidays, but you can bet I’m going to try. If nothing else, at least I know that everyone will have a place to sit.


#BlogElul, the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer, invites participants to chronicle the month leading up to the Jewish High Holy Days through blog posts, photos, and other social media expressions.

Sojourn in the Sunshine State

Map: Norfolk to PensacolaMarch marked the month that we returned to Pensacola, Florida. Our three-year stint will see Sampson on the other side of the “Cradle of Naval Aviation,” this time as a salty, fleet-experienced aviator dispensing wisdom (such as the best places to get brunch in Bahrain) rather than as a shiny student trying to drink from the flight school fire hose. In some ways, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since Sampson was the one sporting butter bars on his freshly issued flight suits and striving for the day he’d add Wings of Gold to his name patch. In other ways, it feels like a lifetime ago.

The last time Sampson lived in P-cola was in 2006, before we were married. I visited him there a few times, and I remember finding the area pleasant. Of course, I could have been viewing things through the rose-colored lenses of one getting to spend a few precious weeks here and there with her long-distance fiancé, but I did recall enjoying the beach and McGuire’s and the zoo that let me feed a giraffe for the first time. (Giraffes’ tongues are startlingly long, purple, and probing when you see them up close. Their eyelashes are also long, but not purple.) It’s been a lot of fun exploring the area from a resident’s point of view rather than the touristy perspective of my seven-years-ago self.

We have now lived in Florida for a full season, from the vernal equinox through today’s summer solstice. As we mold our lives to the rhythm of the year in a new part of the country, I look forward to seeing how we turn and return and grow with the passage of the next eleven or so seasons.

Blue Dasher dragonfly at a local state park.

MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In #78

Happy New Year! Let’s get it right started with the first fill-in of 2013, then I’m off to bake challah.

What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?

I would have packed earlier for our trip to visit family during winter leave. Running around trying to get everything ready in the morning before a car ride with protesting felines turns me into Grumpy McRageface.

What was your favorite thing that happened in December? 

Getting to spend over a week visiting our families was fabulous. The fact that our nephew is old enough to ask his aunt to play airplanes and DUPLO with him is a charming bonus, and my bookworm heart goes pitter-pat when he asks me to read him a story (the same one four times in a row, but who’s counting?).

What are you looking forward to in January?

This is the first January in two years that Sampson is not heading out on deployment or a pre-deployment exercise. Can one look forward to a negative? Because I am definitely looking forward to my husband not leaving.

What did you do for New Year’s Eve?

Sampson had the duty phone shackled to his side, so we had a good excuse to stay at home, make macaroni & goat cheese, watch Star Trek, and read in bed until midnight. We probably would have done that even were he not on duty, as we are [not-so-]secretly hobbit-like homebodies.

What are your hopes and wishes for 2013?

Most of my current hoping and wishing is tied up in prayers for a smooth transition to Sampson’s next duty station. We have a PCS coming up in less than two months, so I know the stress is going to ramp up in the coming weeks. My hope is that the looming period of upheaval will pass quickly so we can start the more enjoyable process of imposing order upon chaos and settling into our new home.


Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this month’s MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In!