Military Women and Military Wives

SpouseBUZZMy latest post for SpouseBUZZ is about the relationship between women in uniform and those of us married to someone in uniform. Hard-to-shake stereotypes on both sides can turn command social functions from fun opportunities for colleagues and families to get to know one another into ordeals fraught with tension and dirty looks. Are military women and military wives doomed to be adversaries, forever incapable of mutual trust and understanding?

The comments section had yielded some interesting discussion already. Naturally, everyone has a story about “that wife” or “that female soldier” which seems to justify the stereotype and makes it hard to give other members of a group the benefit of the doubt. What I’m really interested in hearing, though, is some idea about how we can alleviate that mistrust. What can military wives do to ensure we’re not treating all of our husbands’ female colleagues like potential homewreckers? How can women in the military avoid seeming to “look down on” military wives (an issue that was brought up by a few spouses in the comments)?

I would love your feedback on my post. I truly want to believe that people living different facets of military life, in uniform or out, can build a supportive community together, but it obviously ain’t easy.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #57

I’ve been missing from the MFF ranks for a few weeks now, but there’s nothing like an early Friday wake-up (boo-hiss, flight schedule, boo-hiss) to inspire a jump back onto the fill-in wagon.

My plans for Labor Day included bottling our beer, but what really happened was the drive back home from my unplanned (precipitated by  Hurricane Irene) trip to Northern Virginia. I call it my HURREVACation.

Ecco the DolphinCall me crazy, but sometimes I just need to play old video games. I grew up with Sonic the Hedgehog and Ecco the Dolphin, and there’s still something magical about those games to me. Modern graphics and sound are not the be-all, end-all of the gaming experience.

One of the funniest things I’ve seen lately is my cousin’s three-year-old daughter dancing up a storm at a recent family birthday party.

It’s strange, but a haircut of Sampson’s that has grown out too much drives me crazy while his still-extant deployment mustache is perfectly fine with me! You would not believe the (good-natured) crap I have gotten for “letting” him keep the ‘stache this long after coming home. At this point, I think he should go ahead and keep it around for the next deployment so we don’t have to endure the awkward, sketchy-to-the-max growing phase.

One, two, buckle my shoe… three, four, shut the door — and hope they don’t have blasters.


Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this week’s MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #50

Though I missed last week’s fill-in fun (I think my husband finally being home was a good excuse), I can’t pass up the chance to celebrate the MilSpouse Friday Fill-In’s big five-oh. Before you started, LTJG Wifey, did you ever think your weekly questions would take off like they have? Congratulations on reaching this Internet meme milestone!

Do you eat raw cookie dough?

I sure do. Getting to eat the dough/lick the batter is pretty much the reason I bake from scratch.

When you get online for the first time of the day… what site do you immediately head to?

My morning simply hasn’t begun until I’ve rolled over to my Gmail inbox to see what damage was done to it overnight.

What was your favorite pet as a child and why?

I loved my Clancy-cat. He was the chillest animal I have ever met; when my family decided to adopt a cat after our dog passed away, we knew Clancy was the one because he was the only cat in the shelter not to cringe when my then-three-year-old brother ran up to the cage and gave a big, “HI, CAT!” He lived to a ripe old feline age, but I still miss him.

If you had a snail that could magically grant wishes, what would you name it?

“Whiskey,” short for “Damn, I’d Better Cut Back on the Whiskey.”

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?

Couldn’t tell you — I always bite the silly things.


Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this week’s MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!

I Pick… That One!

About a week and a half ago, I decided that the house had been feeling a little empty for the past six months. I decided that I would head over to the squadron and see if some handsome pilot wanted to come home with me.

Homecoming COD

Moreover, I decided that I'd pick one getting off this very airplane, which had just completed a very impressive flyover of the hangar.

Out of all the folks in flightsuits there, I think I picked a good one to liven up the house again. Vera and Val even like him! Well, they like all the stuff he brought home to sniff and sleep upon, which is pretty much the same thing as fondness for cats.

Sampson is home, and all feels a little more right with my world. As he went back to work just a couple days after making his triumphant return, we’re still waiting on our summer vacation/homecoming honeymoon leave. There are still some (read: all) details to work out, but we are hoping to escape to a cabin in the mountains to enjoy some cooler temperatures and some time to ourselves. When we’re close to base, it’s all too easy for the squadron to call up with some crisis or other that requires Sampson’s immediate attention. Such is the homeguard life, I suppose.

We have several exciting new ventures planned closer to home, too, and I’m excited to share them with you all even as I share the experiences with the love of my life, my best friend in the whole world, and the guy who — luckily for him! — just happened to look best in his flightsuit on the day I decided I simply wasn’t going home without a pilot.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #48

Before I get started with the fill-in fun, I would like to thank the people who have expressed their concern for my grandparents and their various surgical adventures in the past couple of weeks. Your kind words mean so much to me. It is always difficult to be far away from family when stuff like that is going on, but your positive thoughts gave me a huge boost in the midst of the worry. Thank you so much.

The latest news is that my grandmother is out of the hospital and in what they call a “medical resort” to continue her recovery until she’s healed enough to go back to her own apartment. My grandfather’s surgery was also successful in removing the tumor, and the best news is that the doctors don’t think he’ll need to undergo chemotherapy after all. We’re all very relieved to have the surgical hurdles behind us so that my grandparents can focus on healing and getting on with life.

Does your Significant Other read your blog?  Why is this a good or a bad thing? submitted by Mrs. Alana’s Miscellany

You betcha — he’s my biggest fan. Sometimes he even writes for my blog.

What is one item in your house that holds the most sentimental value and why? submitted by The Albrecht Squad

I’m awfully fond of my books. Some of them are very old friends indeed.

When it comes to water fun in the summer do you prefer the beach, the pool, a lake, or the sprinklers? submitted by The Turvo Times

I love the beach, though I haven’t actually gone swimming in the ocean in far too long. That’s pretty ridiculous, considering we live a stone’s throw from Virginia Beach (amongst other local seaside spots). I guess it’s easy to put off a trip to the beach when you feel like you could go “any time.” I noticed the same phenomenon growing up near DC — we didn’t go downtown to see the sights very often unless we had guests visiting from out of town.

What is the one special thing that you do for yourself to get you through the first week of a deployment/separation? submitted by A Creed and a Psalm

One of the first things I did was arrange the Netflix queue to suit myself. Childhood favorites (such as the entire first season of “Ghostwriter”) delivered to my door? Yes, please!

What is your biggest guilty pleasure website? submitted by Christine’s Little Blog

Lately I’ve been giggling an awful lot at Damn You Autocorrect. My dear, sweet mother actually introduced me to this particular hive of unintentional Internet naughtiness when I was visiting my family. She was over on the sofa, surfing away on her laptop, when suddenly she burst into a fit of red-faced, eyes-squeezed-shut, pounding-the-couch-cushion hilarity. She was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. When I asked her what was so funny, she tried to tell me, but every time she started to read, she would dissolve into another fit of giggles. I finally had to come look over her shoulder to see what was up, and DYAC has been in my “Need a Laugh” rotation ever since.


Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this week’s MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!