Author: To the Nth

From Alpha to Zulu

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Miltary Life from Alpha to ZuluWife on the Roller Coaster threw down the proverbial gauntlet last week with a challenge: outline your military life from A to Z — or in the phonetic alphabet, Alpha to Zulu. Mine grew somewhat in the telling from a list of words to a compendium of definitions that largely turned out to be specific to the Naval Aviation community. I had fun with it, and I can’t wait to see what other military spouses come up with for their abridged dictionary versions of military life.

Got your own list? Go forth and link up at Riding the Roller Coaster!

Alpha to Zulu (Naval Aviation Style)

Alpha is for airshows, which not only play a great role in military recruiting and awareness in the community, but also make for some sweet-deal cross-country flights.

Bravo is for Boat, what aviators call the aircraft carrier to irritate the shoes (see “Sierra” below) who think it ought to be called a ship.

Charlie is for Carrier Onboard Delivery, the mission of my husband’s aircraft.

Delta is for debrief, the post-flight play-by-play that includes, if you were landing on the carrier or practicing to do so, the grades of your passes by the LSO (see “Lima” below).

Echo is for EPs, the aircraft Emergency Procedures that must be memorized so they can be put into action at a moment’s notice. Many spouses of flight students become well-versed in EPs through quizzing their loved ones.

Foxtrot is for flight schedule, AKA the “Sked,” which rules each day of our lives and doesn’t come out for until the evening before.

GoshawkGolf is for the T-45 Goshawk, the jet trainer in which my husband made his first carrier landing.

Hotel is for Hail and Bail, a party during which we greet the FNGs (Fu… uh, “Fine” New Guys/Gals) and say goodbye to those moving on to the next assignment.

India is for IP, or Instructor Pilot. When you’re in flight school, you live and die on how the IPs grade you.

JOPA PatchJuliet is for JOPA, the unofficial Junior Officer’s Protection Association made up of the squadron’s O-1s, O-2s, and O-3s. JOPA must stick together under the occasional onslaught of “great ideas” of O-4s and above.

Kilo is for Kingsville, Texas, our first home as a married couple (and a place we would not have chosen to live without the Navy’s insistence that flight school take place in a part of the country with lots of empty airspace).

Lima is for LSO, or Landing Signal Officer. Also called “Paddles,” this is the guy or gal who stands on the platform to help pilots land aboard the carrier and grade their landings.

MeatballMike is for meatball, the Fresnel lens glideslope indicator that tells pilots whether they’re coming in for a carrier landing correctly. If you’ve heard someone talking about “calling the ball,” this is what they mean.

November is for NATOPS, the Naval Air Training and Operating Procedures Standardization program. This thick tome contains as much as it is humanly possible to know about flying a given aircraft, and it is often said to have been “written in blood.”

Oscar is for ORM, or Operational Risk Management, which imbues both our Navy and Civil Air Patrol activities.

Papa is for PCLs, the pocket checklists for each aircraft my husband flew in flight school that litter our house to this day.

Quebec is for the Q, whether it refers to Bachelor Officers’ Quarters, Bachelor Enlisted Quarters, or Combined Bachelor Quarters. We’ve lived in one Q or another whilst looking for permanent housing at a new duty station.

Romeo is for ready room, an environment in which one had better have a thick skin; aviators aren’t known to be Mister Rogers-esque paragons of gentleness in their speech or mannerisms.

Sierra is for shoe, short for “blackshoe” — a Surface Warfare type. Only aviators wear brown shoes in uniform.

Tango is for tailhook, without which carrier landings would be well-nigh impossible for fixed-wing aviators.

Uniform is for underway. Even when my husband is at home, he is busy flying out to support any carrier that is underway within reach of this coast.

Victor is for the VTs, as in VT-6 or VT-3, the Navy’s fixed-wing training squadrons. Contrast with the HTs, the helicopter training squadrons.

Whiskey is for Wings of Gold. Whether double-anchor (for Naval Flight Officers — think “Goose” from Top Gun) or single-anchor (for Naval Aviators, the pilots), earning one’s wings is a proud accomplishment following an arduous passage through flight school.

X-Ray is for the X. “Getting the X” means completing the syllabus flight, not always an easy task in flight school, when so many things are dependent on the weather or having an up (functional) airplane available.

Yankee is for “You fool!” — what you are if you expect military life to make sense all the time.

Zulu is for “zipper-suited sun god,” a tongue-in-cheek appellation for those who spend most of their time in flight suits.

Procrastination is Motivation?

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My subconscious must be just perverse enough to make it difficult for me to blog unless by so doing, I am procrastinating on something else.

Actually, I think that’s why having a double major worked out so well for me in college. When I had a programming deadline, I could write a religion paper. With an essay due date looming, I could lose myself in endless lines of code. See? Perverse. Or contrary, at the very least.

I have no children to wrangle or job responsibilities to juggle, so this deployment has given me Time with a capital ‘T.’ It sloshes about the corners of my house, unused, in temporal eddies that could probably be used to fuel a couple of Star Trek plots. Some of my readers are no doubt gritting their teeth as they read this, thinking, “How dare she complain about having too much time on her hands! I could use an extra four hours just to keep entropy at bay.” If I could figure out a way to reallocate some of my superfluous hours to you busy folks, I’d be happy to oblige — just as long as I could reclaim them when my schedule eventually reverts to “bursting at the seams” mode.

Right now, though, with all this Time floating about, I’m having trouble generating the necessary internal pressure to sit down and write. I have ideas for SpouseBUZZ posts sitting woefully neglected and unexpanded-upon. I haven’t yet told you the story of my triumph over the recalcitrant lawnmower. ENS Wifey’s faithfully-produced MilSpouse Friday Fill-In questions have gone un-filled-in for weeks. My poor blog is parched, and I chalk it up to a lack of non-writing projects on which to procrastinate.

The solution, clearly, is to give myself some other assignments, undertakings to make typing seem a rejuvenating process and prose a refuge. To that end, I just ordered a cackle-worthy amount of yarn and made plans to embark upon my first large-ish lace project. (Hey, no one said my non-writing task had to be unpleasant — it just has to be Not Writing.) If my self-assessment is correct, knitting the way I will need to in order to finish this gift in a timely fashion (read: until cross-eyed and fumble-fingered) will make “sneaking off” to bang out a blog post seem deliciously like getting away with something.

Am I the only weirdo who procrastinates her way into productivity? I’d love to hear about any little tricks you use to fool yourself into getting things done.

To the Nth Facebook Page

Come on over and give me a 'Like,' if you so desire.

Speaking of procrastination, Facebook reigns as one of the greatest time sinks of all time, as it has since I was in college (you know, back in the days before middle schoolers and your grandmother were on it). It was only a matter of time before I joined the “Facebook Page for my Blog” party: To the Nth is now officially likable, social-networking-wise. Let me know if you have a page you’d like me to come visit!

Reasons I’m Happy Today

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For those of you awaiting an insightful or witty blog post from you old pal Nth… this isn’t it. It is, however, a list of random reasons I find myself in a good mood on this Sunday. You’ll note that none of them are “We just ‘sprang forward!'” Daylight Saving Time is, in my not so humble opinion, foolish and outmoded.

  • The hardware store had the — ugh — moth traps I was looking for in stock.
  • The hardware store is conveniently located next to a Sonic, where I obtained a delicious Coke with chocolate and vanilla.
    • The real reason Sonic is the best is their glorious crunchable ice. I adore it.
      • Deployment bonus: I could crunch ice to my heart’s content without wigging Sampson out.
  • The weather has approached perfection today: sunny, 65° F, and just enough of a breeze to rustle the budding branches.
  • When I open the windows to take advantage of the breeze, the cats entertain me by being fascinated with the birdies and squirrels and neighbors mowing their lawns.
  • I made ridiculously awesome lasagna for dinner last night, and the leftovers are equally delicious.
    • This may be the homecoming meal I make for Sampson later this summer. I can put it together ahead of time so as not to waste precious minutes of getting reacquainted with my husband with dinner prep.
  • I have big plans for watching the remainder of my “Get Smart” disc this evening — yay, 1960s spy comedy! — so I can send it back to Netflix in the morning.
  • Sampson said I looked really pretty on Skype this afternoon (well, my afternoon, his late night). 🙂

Finally, these kitty dorkotrons always make me smile:

 

Twin Napping

Wonder Kitten powers activate, form of... NAP!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #32

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SpouseBUZZBefore I get going on today’s questions, I’ll just throw in a shameless plug for my latest SpouseBUZZ post. I met my first “deployment gremlins” when they moved into my furnace like half a second after Sampson departed, but it turns out there was an unexpected bright side to a major household system going on the fritz.

Right, now onto the questions!

Do you or your {spouse} ever wish your {spouse} was in a different branch of the military? —submitted by The Turner Family

The only time I have ever witnessed a tinge of service-related “grass is greener” syndrome on Sampson’s part was when he waxed rhapsodic over the deliciousness of Air Force boxed nasty (boxed lunch, for the uninitiated). “They even included a comment card. A comment card!” he marveled.

However, the Air Force wouldn’t let Sampson land airplanes on boats, so I think we’ll stick with the Navy.

What duty station(s) are on your “No Way, Hell No, Not Going, Have Fun Unaccompanied” list and why? –submitted by Every Branch

I can’t think of a duty station to which I absolutely would not move, but there are definitely some that would inspire more of a fuss than others. I would prefer not to spend three years in Meridian, Mississippi. The town appears to have only one synagogue, it is far away from all of our family members, the job my husband would be doing wouldn’t be his first choice, and I haven’t heard stellar things about the job market for me.

I’d still go, though. After all, less-than-ideal living conditions can make for hilarious stories to share on the blog.

If you could be one age forever, what age would you choose and why? –submitted by Three Krakens

My mom has always said she has liked every age she’s been, and I would tend to agree. I would hate to miss out on something wonderful about being thirty because I got it in my head that life peaks at twenty-six.

If you were a breakfast cereal, which one would you be? —submitted by the C.W.

This is a much harder question than “What’s your favorite breakfast cereal?” would have been. Hmm… how about Grape Nuts topped with fresh sliced banana? I’m a little nutty, but that just adds a satisfying crunch to life, interspersed with bites of smooth sweetness for contrast. I’m not sure what the vanilla soymilk would signify.

What is your morning beverage of choice and why? —submitted by NH Girl Displaced

Tea and Flight Gloves

Yes, those are Sampson's flight gloves, and yes, that is my crazy morning hair.

Black tea, hands down. I enjoy coffee, but it’s always been an afternoon beverage for me. What I want when I first stumble into the kitchen is a big mug of “something civilizing,” as Sampson puts it. I don’t sweeten most teas, so I get to enjoy the slightly astringent complexity of the brew unimpeded by a sugar kick. This morning’s cuppa is a darjeeling from Adagio Teas.

Since hitting the fleet, Sampson has developed a morning coffee habit where none previously existed. We started out using a French press, but while it made good coffee, it was a pain to clean out the coffee grounds afterwards. When the carafe finally broke, I had just the excuse I needed to order an AeroPress. As soon as we gave it a test run, I wished we had pitched the French press years sooner. It makes a fantastic cuppa joe, and the clean-up is infinitely easier: just press the plunger and the whole “puck” of grounds flies into the trash with a satisfying thunk. No touching the damp, gritty spent grounds at all!

Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to ENS Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this week’s MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!

Time is Marching On

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Flight Gear Vera

"Your helmet bag is comfy, hooman."

Today is a good day for my own personal ways of counting down until Sampson is home with me and a pair of kitties who would really prefer to have his flight gear conveniently strewn about for feline lounging. Not only did I get to flip the calendar page from February to March, but I get to put the trash and the recycling forward tonight. Recycling is every other week, so I am pleased to note the passage of fourteen more days in this deployment. I am two weeks — one fortnight! — closer to being able to hand trash duty back to my husband, a chore I will gladly relinquish into his capable hands the moment his plane touches down on United States soil.

My parents ventured down to visit me over the weekend, so I am coming down off the high of good food, fortifying drink, and excellent company. I hope they enjoyed their little mini-vacation as much as I did. It was so good to spend time with them, and it was refreshing to have a house full of laughter and loved ones again. I sometimes forget how quiet it truly is with just me in the house. Well, I’ll grant you that the cats can be noisy buggers when they’ve a mind, but they’re not big on witty repartee.

My in-laws are coming to visit next week, which is super-sweet of them. With any luck, my house will still be fairly organized from my whirlwind of pre-parental-visit cleaning this past Friday. It wouldn’t have been so bad, except I lost some of the housekeeping time I’d allotted when I discovered the necessity of mounting an all-out assault on the moths that had infiltrated my pantry. Gross, gross, gross. On the plus side, having to get in there with bleach forced me to clear out some items that had been sitting around for a while, like the wedding favor candy from my cousin’s reception a year and a half ago. Whoops.

In non-disgusting food news, I have a loaf of bread about to go into the oven, whereupon it will fill my house with a mouthwatering aroma that will make it difficult for me to resist tearing into the honey-whole-wheat goodness the nanosecond it’s done baking. Strength! I’m gonna need some strength here, people, lest I burn the roof of my mouth on the staff of life.

(It’d be totally worth it, though.)