#BlogElul 15: Learn

#BlogElul 2013Say what you will (and I have, in no uncertain terms) about the hassle of frequent military moves, they do serve to keep our minds in learning mode. Our PCS from Virginia to Florida earlier this year has provided us with ample opportunity to flex our mental muscles and make new connections in our networks of neurons. We are constantly rewiring our brains to deal with our changing situation.

We started learning new things long before we packed up and left the Old Dominion, such as how to prepare a house for rental. We learned about property managers and painting and plaster repair. We learned about refinancing and paperwork and how to make zillions of trips to the hardware store to take care of zillions of little things.

When we arrived in Pensacola, we learned how to search for a rental house, which we had never done before; the process differs from finding an apartment, moving into base housing, or buying a home. We started learning the local roadmap, all the ways and back ways and shortcuts and times to avoid certain routes. We scoped out the commissary and civilian grocery stores and the local restaurant scene, which seems to have changed for the better in the seven years since my husband’s SNA days. We learned about parks and trails and beaches, places to go and be outside in our new state.

Blackwater River

We can’t wait to learn how to go tubing down the meandering, sandy-bottomed Blackwater River.

We learned about frogs and toads and anoles. We got ourselves a guidebook so we could begin to put names to unfamiliar birdsong and feather patterns in our own backyard. We learned about gigantic mosquitos.

T-6A Texan II

A T-6A Texan II, the kind of airplane my husband flies here in Florida. U.S. Navy photo by Jeff Doty (RELEASED)

My husband jumped headfirst into learning the new airplane he was to fly for this set of orders. He learned T-6A systems and checklists and emergency procedures. He made flashcards for everything, and I learned about the Texan II as I quizzed him and helped him run practice checklists in “chair-flying” study sessions.

Our new synagogue proved full of things to learn. We learned new names and faces. We learned our new rabbi’s style of leading services, and we learned new melodies for familiar prayers. We started learning our congregation’s history, its feel, its tone — its ruach, if you will. We relearned, for the first time since college Hillel and Jewish Midshipmen Club, how sweet it is to spend time with other Jews close to our own age.

We learn every day, but I know the pace of day-to-day knowledge acquisition will continue to slow as we get more and more comfortable at this duty station. In a little more than two and a half years, though, we expect that impending-move jolt to kick our brains back into their thirstiest state. We’ll learn all over again.


#BlogElul, the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer, invites participants to chronicle the month leading up to the Jewish High Holy Days through blog posts, photos, and other social media expressions.

#BlogElul 12: Trust

#BlogElul 2013As the storm that had prematurely awoken us this morning growled and raged about us, I mentioned to my husband that today’s theme for that Elul blogging project is trust.

“Well,” he said thoughtfully between bites of (insanely delicious, decadent) churro waffle, “I trust the aircraft maintainers with my life every time I go flying.”

There are times I can almost forget that my husband’s job is a little unusual. I kiss him goodbye in the morning, tell him I love him, and say, “Have a good flight. Let me know when you land so I can start preheating the oven.” I send him out the door and go about my day without really thinking about the risks inherent in a naval aviator’s job. Just about anything will start to feel normal after a while, including the fact that my husband’s “office” has an ejection seat.

Every now and then, something — such as an offhand remark over breakfast — will remind me that military aviation isn’t a desk job.

The man I love most in this world relies upon the men and women who turn the wrenches, whose clothes are smeared with every kind of fluid an aircraft can possibly bleed, who work night and day to chase down gripes and keep these complex, often persnickety machines ready to perform the missions demanded of them. My husband places his trust in these maintainers, and he proves that trust by strapping into the aircraft, shutting the canopy, and taking to the sky.

I have not met most of the men and women in whom my husband, his fellow pilots, and the students yearning toward their Wings of Gold place their faith, but I, too, must trust them. Although I am not personally betting my own life on their maintenance of the aircraft, I am depending on their work for the safety of one I hold most dear.

Trusting others, particularly through some strange transitive property of faith, is not easy. I have to trust people I have never met, whose work or skill I have no means of personally verifying. I wonder if they ever stop and think about how many people — spouses, children, mothers, fathers — trust them implicitly. I hope they don’t think about it too often, though; the responsibility is awesome, and perhaps too distracting to bear in mind all the time and still be able to function.

I think it is good for all of us to sit for a while, now and again, and allow ourselves to feel the weight of trust upon our shoulders. Chances are, there are people we’ve never met who have placed their trust in us. I hope I am worthy of it.


#BlogElul, the brainchild of Rabbi Phyllis Sommer, invites participants to chronicle the month leading up to the Jewish High Holy Days through blog posts, photos, and other social media expressions.

Sojourn in the Sunshine State

Map: Norfolk to PensacolaMarch marked the month that we returned to Pensacola, Florida. Our three-year stint will see Sampson on the other side of the “Cradle of Naval Aviation,” this time as a salty, fleet-experienced aviator dispensing wisdom (such as the best places to get brunch in Bahrain) rather than as a shiny student trying to drink from the flight school fire hose. In some ways, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since Sampson was the one sporting butter bars on his freshly issued flight suits and striving for the day he’d add Wings of Gold to his name patch. In other ways, it feels like a lifetime ago.

The last time Sampson lived in P-cola was in 2006, before we were married. I visited him there a few times, and I remember finding the area pleasant. Of course, I could have been viewing things through the rose-colored lenses of one getting to spend a few precious weeks here and there with her long-distance fiancé, but I did recall enjoying the beach and McGuire’s and the zoo that let me feed a giraffe for the first time. (Giraffes’ tongues are startlingly long, purple, and probing when you see them up close. Their eyelashes are also long, but not purple.) It’s been a lot of fun exploring the area from a resident’s point of view rather than the touristy perspective of my seven-years-ago self.

We have now lived in Florida for a full season, from the vernal equinox through today’s summer solstice. As we mold our lives to the rhythm of the year in a new part of the country, I look forward to seeing how we turn and return and grow with the passage of the next eleven or so seasons.

Blue Dasher dragonfly at a local state park.

MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In #78

Happy New Year! Let’s get it right started with the first fill-in of 2013, then I’m off to bake challah.

What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?

I would have packed earlier for our trip to visit family during winter leave. Running around trying to get everything ready in the morning before a car ride with protesting felines turns me into Grumpy McRageface.

What was your favorite thing that happened in December? 

Getting to spend over a week visiting our families was fabulous. The fact that our nephew is old enough to ask his aunt to play airplanes and DUPLO with him is a charming bonus, and my bookworm heart goes pitter-pat when he asks me to read him a story (the same one four times in a row, but who’s counting?).

What are you looking forward to in January?

This is the first January in two years that Sampson is not heading out on deployment or a pre-deployment exercise. Can one look forward to a negative? Because I am definitely looking forward to my husband not leaving.

What did you do for New Year’s Eve?

Sampson had the duty phone shackled to his side, so we had a good excuse to stay at home, make macaroni & goat cheese, watch Star Trek, and read in bed until midnight. We probably would have done that even were he not on duty, as we are [not-so-]secretly hobbit-like homebodies.

What are your hopes and wishes for 2013?

Most of my current hoping and wishing is tied up in prayers for a smooth transition to Sampson’s next duty station. We have a PCS coming up in less than two months, so I know the stress is going to ramp up in the coming weeks. My hope is that the looming period of upheaval will pass quickly so we can start the more enjoyable process of imposing order upon chaos and settling into our new home.


Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this month’s MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In!

MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In #76

What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?

I wouldn’t have let Frankenstorm transform me into a raging harridan. Poor Sampson was treated to a truly loathsome display of unreasoning ire when the Navy had him evacuate an airplane to sunnier climes ahead of Hurricane Sandy’s possible visit to our area, leaving me and the cats to ride out the storm alone. Never mind that it wasn’t Sampson’s idea and he didn’t want to go; I was scared and expressed my fear as anger at the most convenient target. Not my most gracious moment, that.

What was your favorite thing that happened in October?

It was wonderful to be present for our friends’ long-awaited homecoming.

What dish makes the Thanksgiving holiday for you? (Bonus points if you share the recipe.) — Courtesy of To the Nth

Evil, wonderful, crunchy, addictive onions.

Evil, wonderful, crunchy, addictive onions.

Wow, what a great question! You’d think this would be an easy one for me, as I’m the one who suggested it. Well, I get no bonus points for my answer, because I have little to do with the actual construction of the dish that makes Thanksgiving for me. Every year for as long as I can remember, my parents have brought the green bean casserole to our extended family’s Thanksgiving feast. I do know that their version differs from the recipe you see on every bag of those eminently snackable fried onions (at least as many wind up in our mouths as in the dish when we cook with these babies) this time of year in that they use a mushroom gravy rather than cream of mushroom soup, which lends the casserole a deeper, earthier flavor while keeping things dairy-free to go with a meat meal.

Check out my [Wife of a Sailor’s] post from yesterday… will you be participating in the MilSpouse Secret Santa?

I’m Jewish, so Santa (secret or otherwise) isn’t really my milieu. If you choose to sign up, have fun!

What are you looking forward to in November?

Thanksgiving is almost here! I cannot wait to join with our family to reflect on the blessings of life and harvest… and to stuff ourselves silly with the delicious bounty of the aforementioned harvest. Seriously though, I treasure the times — so much rarer now that we kids are grown — we can gather with grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, and all those who have become family through love. When we’re laughing and talking and reminiscing together, I realize the true abundance for which I must be thankful.


Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this month’s MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In!