What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?

I would have refrained from eating the entire batch of kettle corn I made whilst waiting for Sampson to return home from some bit of late-night pre-deployment business to which he had to attend. I suspect I added too much sugar for the amount of popcorn I used, so it turned out addictively tasty and far too rich for an evening snack. Alas, my overfull tummy forced me to forgo the whisky Sampson and I had planned to enjoy when he got back from the squadron.

What was your favorite thing that happened in March?

I got to go flying for the first time with my new headset. Not only was it lighter and comfier than the David Clark loaners I’d been borrowing, I didn’t have to wonder about who else had gotten up close and personal with the microphone windscreen before me. The cockpit is a noisy environment, you see, and you need to have the microphone pretty much touching your lips in order to be heard on the radio. As much as I love my fellow Civil Air Patrol volunteers, that esteem does not extend to wishing to make out with their previously used microphones.

Check your phone… who was the last person you called and what is your favorite thing about them?

‘Twas my in-laws, to discuss Passover plans. They’re wonderful folks who have always made me feel like a welcome addition to the family.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

I drew this green Pernese dragon basking in the sun when I was in high school.

I still remember when Crayola released new crayon colors in 1990. My favorite among the new additions to my crayon box was Jungle Green. The color was perfect for both rich foliage and for the dragons that figured so vividly in my imagination throughout my childhood. I may not take to the sky on gossamer-thin dragon wings, but I feel the same excitement whenever I climb into a small airplane.

What are you looking forward to in April?

This first part of the month is full of family and celebrations. I’m excited to see all kinds of people, but it will be particularly special to meet two new family members this weekend — my cousin and his wife just welcomed a set of twins last week, so I look forward to saying hello to my newest first cousins, once removed.

Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this month’s MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In!

Should wives at home be left out of squadron fun just because the guys are deployed? (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Benjamin Crossley/Released)

Most Navy squadrons deploy as units, with everyone from the skipper on down heading out and returning together. Sampson’s squadron operates a little differently. When a carrier deploys, along goes a COD detachment of two aircraft, six pilots, and a few dozen aircrew and maintenance personnel to support the logistical needs of the Boat throughout its time at sea. There is almost always at least one more detachment, or “det,” out supporting a different carrier, and the rest of the CODs and personnel are at home both getting ready to deploy and providing logistics hits to any carrier that happens to be operating within reach of the coast.

The consequence of this det-based structure is that there is never a time when the whole squadron is together or at the same point in the operational/deployment cycle. Some folks are getting ready to go out, some are in the middle of a deployment, some just got home, and some are in the thick of home guard ops while they wait to be assigned to a det and start preparations for the next deployment. As complicated as the who’s-home-and-who’s-gone calculus must be for Sampson and his squadronmates, it’s no less confusing on the spouses’ side.

In most squadrons, the wives left at home during a deployment can turn to any other wife and know that she is on the same timeline. They more than likely said goodbye to their husbands on the same day, and they have the same number of months/weeks/days left in the homecoming countdown. They reach milestones like the halfway point together, and might celebrate with a joyous night on the town with nearly all the other spouses. Deployment is an experience shared amongst all the spouses.

In COD land, only a small fraction of the squadron is on the same timeline that we are. When our det celebrates its halfway point, we’ll certainly invite all the spouses, and some number from outside our det will attend, but it will only be a milestone for a few of us. The wives whose husbands are home naturally want to spend time with their mates, so they might be less interested in wives-only socializing.

When Sampson is home, I know I tend to drift away from spouses’ club events in favor of those we can attend as a couple: the Hail and Bails, the Dining Outs, the occasional JOPA dinner and DRINKEX. These are the times I get to know Sampson’s colleagues: the buddies about whom I’ve heard crazy deployment stories, the superiors who attempt to keep JO exuberance in line, and the “Fu… er, Fine New Guys” coming to the squadron fresh from flight school. I love getting to know the people with whom Sampson works. Being able to put faces to the names that come up when he’s talking about work helps me build a picture that makes me feel more connected to Sampson, the squadron, and the Navy.

When Sampson left for last year’s deployment, it was like someone flipped a switch. Our husbands were gone, so we were forgotten as far as the squadron’s social life was concerned. Sure, there were FRG meetings and spouses’ club events, but information about Hail and Bails and JOPA get-togethers somehow never made it to us. Our husbands weren’t there in the ready room to receive the information and pass it along to us, so we never got it. In six months, I saw neither hide nor hair of Sampson’s fellow active duty pilots. Sometimes I’d hear from the wives whose husbands were home about this or that social event to which we would have been welcome, but no one remembered to get the memo to us wives whose husbands were away.

I am pleased to note that this oversight seems to have been resolved between last year’s deployment and this one. The command is doing a great job of keeping all spouses — not just the ones whose other halves are home — in the loop for upcoming events by passing along information through email instead of just assuming that the guys will get the info at work and pass it along when they get home. We found out about the most recent Hail and Bail in plenty of time to make plans to attend (to include finding a babysitter for those with kids) if we so desired.

Thanks to the encouragement and planning of one of my fellow det wives, three of us with deployed husbands did wind up going to partake of the open bar as we greeted the FNGs and said farewell to those moving on to the next set of orders. We were made to feel welcome in spite of the absence of our husbands — the skipper even thanked us specifically for coming out in his remarks at the start of the hailing and bailing. Instead of sitting at home feeling invisible and forgotten, we got to catch up with friends and meet new people. Oh, and laugh.  A lot. I like to think that I even helped Sampson feel more connected to the stateside squadron scene when I related some hilarious moments to him via Skype the next day.

If you are ever in a position to wonder if you ought to attend a military social function without your spouse, I suggest that you at least consider gathering a few other wives who are in the same boat and going together. Unit dynamics vary as to what might seem weird, of course, but it was a pleasant and natural-feeling experience for us. I believe that the fact that we’re being kept in the loop for more than FRG events bodes well for keeping feelings of isolation from the squadron “family” at bay throughout this deployment.

I took this photo in February at the Norfolk Bontanical Garden. Spring arrived early this year, bringing with it a deployment and wild inspiration

Though I may have thought wistfully of the pretty snow flurries we weren’t getting, I can’t say I was too upset about getting to enjoy some warmer weather with Sampson before he left. I think the sunshine and the lengthening days even assuaged some of the sting of our farewell — I feel energized and inspired to go forth and do things to kick off this deployment! That’s quite a contrast to last year, when Sampson left in the dreary depths of January and all I could think about was missing out on a cozy “hibernation” with my honey.

I have a problem, though. All this energy and inspiration zinging through me right now is wonderful, but no matter how much the new season is making me feel like an all-conquering wonder woman, the rational part of my brain knows that even a comic book superhero would be hard pressed to accomplish all the possibilities currently firing my imagination.

In my latest SpouseBUZZ post, I ask how I can fit springtime’s early deployment dreams into a reality that doesn’t involve me acquiring superhuman powers. I need your deployment goal secrets, stat, because my wild fantasy-land ideas just aren’t going to cut it.

Hop on over “Spring is Here and I Can Do Anything! Or Maybe Not…” on SpouseBUZZ and hit me with your best deployment goal-setting do’s and don’ts.

What is your favorite/most unique anniversary/birthday gift from your spouse? suggested by Bel at Being a Better Me

Sampson has given me some wonderful gifts throughout the past decade-plus (I can’t believe it’s been almost eleven years since he asked me out). It’s hard to choose just one, so I’ll go with one of the very first. For my seventeenth birthday, the cute boy who had just asked me to prom weeks prior came to a big family birthday party bearing a huge poster with a bow on it.

Even that early in our relationship, he knew how much I loved James Bond, particularly as portrayed by Sean Connery. It said a lot about Sampson that he found such a thoughtful gift rather than defaulting to the teenage-boy standard of flowers or something. The poster still hangs in our bedroom to this day. Some people might think it odd to have 007 spying on our slumber, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

What’s your first thought when you see it’s snowing (or what would you say if you don’t live somewhere with snow?) suggested by Poekitten from Many Waters

My first thought is almost certainly something inane, like, “Ooh, flurries!” After that, my brain starts clamoring for hot chocolate.

What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?  suggested by Erika from Chambanachik

Not that we had the slightest bit of control over it, but I would have preferred Sampson to get home from a pre-deployment exercise when he was supposed to instead of almost a week late. It was painful to lose that time we were supposed to have together before he left this month.

What was your favorite thing that happened in February? 

Getting all dolled up and going to a 1940s-themed hangar dance at the Military Aviation Museum was a real treat. Sampson and I may not be accomplished swing dancers, but we never turn down an opportunity to spend an evening amongst gorgeously restored warbirds. An unexpected snowstorm made our Valentine’s date all the more magical.

What are you looking forward to in March?

Civil Air Patrol flying! I can’t wait to get back up in the air again.

Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this month’s MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In!

I would love to experience an air show from inside this famous C-130. To date, no one has offered me the chance.

When two people enjoy the same things, it’s fantastic when they get to partake of their passions together. When one person gets to do something totally awesome related to one of those shared interests and the other person emphatically does not… well, let’s just say it’s not all Skittles and beer.

In this SpouseBUZZ post, I tell the story of one time — not the first nor last time — I wished that I could either switch places with Sampson or magically quash the fascination of mine that led to an acute case of envious rage.

You may note that I’m a little late in pointing you to this post. When it first went live, there were some technical hiccups that resulted in people’s comments not showing up for several days. I wanted to wait ’til that was resolved before sharing the link here, and then life got busy. Everything should be working now, though, so I’d love it if you could drop by and tell me what you think. Ever wished you could step into your spouse’s shoes for the day? Have you run into trouble that would have been avoided if you didn’t have so darn much in common with your beloved? Tell me I’m not alone at The Mixed Blessing of Shared Interests on SpouseBUZZ.

…kneading and braiding and baking and eating this…

…all by myself, and being kept company by a pair of inscrutable creatures who think that this…

…is a completely acceptable way to sleep in polite society — or what passes for polite society, when it’s just me and I have few compelling reasons to change out of my sweet mesh USNA shorts and, like, actually interact with other human beings. Ah, decadence.

What is your favorite winter memory?  

My little brother and I built some pretty epic snow forts during the notable (read: snow-heavy) winters of our childhood. We grew up in the DC area, which gets snow just often enough that the local governments have plows, but not often enough that people really know how to handle more than a couple inches. That made the rare occasions we got a foot or more of snow nigh-magical for us kids: schools were closed, our seldom-used snow boots were at the ready, and we could exhaust ourselves in our transformed neighborhood secure in the knowledge that hot cocoa awaited us when sledding and snowball arsenal-building was done for the day.

What is your current favorite TV show?

I always get a chuckle out of “The Big Bang Theory,” probably because I recognize (and perhaps bear some resemblance to) the quirks of so many characters.

We’ve also been enjoying “Coast Guard Alaska.” How could we not? It combines military aviation (my husband’s career) with search and rescue (the focus of my volunteer work). Also, there’s always a chance that we’re going to see someone we know; military aviation is a small world. We do roll our eyes a bit when the show tries a little too hard to find the human interest angle; a scene where they showed a bunch of officers getting together for dinner seemed staged and forced. The show is at its best when it displays professionals doing a demanding, often dangerous job with the calm confidence that every member of the aircrew knows his or her role and will get it done. That’s how I would like to be in the cockpit when I fly with the Civil Air Patrol.

What was your favorite thing that happened in January?

January turned out to be a pretty good month despite the fact that Sampson was gone for most of it. SpouseBUZZ LIVE Eglin was a definite highlight. It was wonderful to finally put faces to the familiar names of my fellow bloggers, and to find out that they’re awesome in person, to boot.

What is the best sound in the world to you?

Nothing fills my heart to overflowing like the sound of my family — my folks, Sampson’s folks, our siblings, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, assorted cousins — gathered together and laughing.

What is the biggest lesson you have learned as a MilSpouse (or significant other)?

Though the Navy may play a significant role in my life, and no matter how much I love (well, most of the time) being a part of the military community, my role as a supportive spouse is not central to the Navy. I have other roles that are about me and my passions where my contributions are key; it’s far better to look there for a sense of accomplishment — and yes, recognition for that accomplishment — than to resent always being a mere appendage to my husband in the context of his military career.

Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to LTJG Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this month’s MilSpouse (First) Friday Fill-In!