
Wordless Wednesday Wishes You a Happy Chanuk-cat

Tonight is the first night of my fifth Chanukah as a Navy wife, so I thought I would share the story of how Sampson and I spent our first Chanukah as a married couple. (The following story was originally published elsewhere as part of last week’s MilSpouse Holiday Blog Swap; I am sharing it here for readers who may not have had a chance to bounce from blog to blog.)
When Sampson and I moved to Kingsville, Texas just days after we said our vows under the chuppah and danced the Hora with family and friends, we joked that we were doubling the town’s Jewish population. That was an exaggeration, of course, but not by much: even larger South Texas cities are not exactly known as Jewish cultural centers, and Kingsville was shockingly small to someone who had lived in the comparatively diverse Washington, DC region her entire life.
The frenetic pace of Sampson’s advanced flight training coupled with the staggering, wonderful novelty of finally being married after a half-decade of long-distance romance made our newlywed year speed by, and soon December was upon us. As the all-consuming demands of the Navy would have it, that month ushered in one of the most intense phases of flight training: carrier qualification. Through countless hours of practice touch-and-goes at an outlying field, Sampson and his fellow the Student Naval Aviators had sought to burn into their brains and muscle memories the exacting pattern required to make a successful landing aboard an aircraft carrier. Now, they were about to face the real thing for the first time, and the dates happened to coincide with our first Chanukah as a married couple.
Chanukah is actually one of the lesser holidays on the Jewish calendar — a commemoration of a minor military victory and the small miracle of an oil lamp lasting days longer than it should have. It is not a “Jewish Christmas” in theme or relative significance. Still, it is a warm, homey sort of festival, and a time when families gather to light candles, sing old songs, and bring laughter and joy to the longest winter nights.
Sampson and I had long looked forward to building our own family traditions around these eight evenings, with favorite latke recipes and silly dreidels and beautiful chanukiyot (menorahs) to enjoy year after year. The needs of the Navy allowed us the very beginning of our first Chanukah together before Sampson and his class headed to Florida and thence to the USS Boat, where they would put their long hours of training to the test. We did not know how many days it would take to complete CQ, but it seemed fairly certain that I would be spending the remainder of the festival alone.
Those were anxious days for me. My husband was strapping himself into a single-engine jet aircraft all by himself, flying out over the water, and attempting to land on a moving postage stamp in the middle of the ocean by snagging a wire stretched across the deck with a hook on the back of his aircraft. Oh yeah, and every single one of those traps (arrested landings) was being scrutinized and graded. Not everyone qualifies their first time at the Boat. Some people never figure it out, which can end a pilot’s career before it truly begins.
Each day I attempted to distract myself from my preoccupation, and each night I did the best I could to celebrate Chanukah all by myself. Our flight school friends were all putting up Christmas trees, and our nearest Jewish acquaintances were forty-five miles away in Corpus Christi. I missed my husband, and I wasn’t feeling very social without him, anyway. As the number of candles I lit each night increased, so did my nervous anticipation of the phone call that would tell me how CQ had turned out.
W
hen the call finally came, I made Sampson repeat what he said twice to make sure I was hearing correctly. “I’m a qual! I passed!” I was ecstatic. My husband was officially a tailhooker! I was so relieved and excited for him that I almost didn’t catch it when he added, “…and I’ll be home in time for the last night of Chanukah.” When that last bit sank in, I literally jumped up and down for joy.
The memory of what followed is as much a part of our Chanukah tradition as the scent of beeswax or the glint of foil-covered chocolate coins. The next day, Sampson arrived home to find a “Congratulations, Tailhooker!” sign on our door and an immensely proud wife waiting to greet him behind it. We grinned at each other as we lit two chanukiyot to their full capacity, in celebration not just of a victory long ago, but of the small miracle of being unexpectedly together for the culmination of our holiday — minor or not.

What do you see your life like in 10 years?
It’s hard for me to imagine what my life will be like in ten days, much less ten years. I suspect we will have at least one small human underfoot and I hope I will be as accomplished a private pilot as my husband is a naval aviator.
What do you like most about your job?
I am not currently employed, but my volunteer time with Civil Air Patrol is incredibly satisfying. I have the opportunity to work with talented people dedicated to service, whether in the air, in ground search and rescue, in working with motivated cadets, or in promoting aerospace education. I am proud to be counted among them, and I am blessed to count them among my friends.
What are three things you do every day, no matter what day it is?
This is harder than one might think. I can’t even say I brush my teeth every day, as there are certain fast days on the Jewish calendar where not even a toothbrush is supposed to pass our lips. (I promise I brush my teeth on the vast majority of days, though.) About the only things I can claim to do every single day are:
Sorry; got a little hung up on the letter ‘B’ for some reason.
What would you do with an extra five hours in your day today?
Pray forgive my hopeless dullness, but I’d probably sleep. An extra five hours of sleep without worry that the phone is going to ring with some crisis that just couldn’t wait until morning is precisely what my husband and I need in the midst of this stupidly busy time.
What is your favorite Christmas (or whichever holiday you celebrate) cookie recipe (please share!)?
Despite the increasingly widespread availability of kitschy cookie cutters in the shape of dreidels, stars of David, menorahs, etc., Chanukah is not traditionally a cookie-making holiday. I wouldn’t turn down a Chanukah-themed cookie — hell, I might make them with our kids someday — but cookies just don’t scream Festival of Lights to me. Chanukah treats tend to be fried in oil, a nod to the story of the miracle of one day’s worth of oil for the Temple’s lamp lasting eight days.
I stretched my Chanukah celebration out one more day to make latkes for my Civil Air Patrol squadron’s holiday party/change of command. Everyone appeared to like the delightfully crisp potato-and-onion pancakes, but I was shocked to learn how many people had never heard of them until that very evening. Where I grew up, even the non-Jews at least knew what a latke was. Guess we really are in the South. As my husband so succinctly put it, “We grew up a lot closer to New York than they did to Fort Lauderdale.”
Are you a military spouse/fiancée/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend? Hie thee to ENS Wifey’s blog, snag the questions, and add yourself to the Mr. Linky for this week’s MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!
…and I went for over three months without updating my blog. So, uh, howdy there, readers. (Do I still have any readers? It’s difficult to read what hasn’t been written.) I continue to draw breath, and I find myself capable of putting fingers to keyboard, even if it has tended to be in 140-character spurts over in the Twitterverse of late. I return from my unplanned blogging hiatus with hopes of more regularly filling this space with vignettes from this Navy wife’s daily attempts to make it from Point A to Point B without crashing into anything in between (although I’ll grant you that documenting close encounters of the obstacle kind would at least make for more interesting reading).
The current obstacles I’m trying to dodge have much to do with upcoming holiday leave — or rather, the leave we sincerely hope we will have. Precise details as to start date, duration, and how it will be split are still up in the air, which aggravates me no end because we are unable to start hashing out how we’re going to see everyone we need to see when all of those people have busy schedules that will not necessarily clear themselves just because my husband and I will be bestowing the glory of our presence on the environs. We are extremely lucky that our families live close enough together that we don’t have to make a decision as to our travel destination — I feel for those of you with families in far-flung locations — but it still isn’t ever easy to cram maximum togetherness into an all-too-finite number of days. I want to have as much warning as possible to start working the logistics, but I’ll be happy if what we get is at least a day’s notice to let my folks know to ready the guest bed.

Tonight will be the fifth night of Chanukah, but this picture is from some past year's eighth night.
I’m getting exhausted just thinking about all of it. I think I’m glad that Chanukah is so early this year. Though my husband has been working full days (and then some, including this whole weekend), we are still able to light candles and enjoy a low-key, relaxing little bit of holiday glow. We made my much clamored-after sweet potato latkes with goat cheese the other night, eating standing up in the kitchen with the sizzle of the oil a pleasant backdrop to laughter and conversation about life, the universe, and being Jewish in it. I’m a little sad that we don’t get to light candles with family this year, but I truly treasure the little traditions we have made in nearly four years of marriage, just the two of us.
And then I think of the little traditions that will go unmarked next year, the holidays that will come and go while my husband is deployed in a part of the world where it’s not a great idea to advertise that one is Jewish. It breaks my heart. It reinforces how very lucky I am that in this country, in this time, I am able to identify myself as Jewish — to talk about our Chanukah celebrations with other squadron wives, to discuss plans for Passover, to explain that I don’t eat bacon because of my religion — largely without fear of negative repercussions for it. Antisemitism does still slither in through the cracks even in this relatively enlightened age, as evidenced by vandalism against area synagogues in recent memory, so I am not wholly without concern. But ninety-nine percent of the time? If it comes up in conversation, I have no problem mentioning that I’m Jewish. It’s not that way everywhere, and I’m thankful for the tolerance of the United States.
And if you made it through this meandering return-to-blogging post, I thank you for your tolerance. 😉